I’ve been living in Australia for almost six years. I still get homesick around the holidays.
This time it crept in and caught me by surprise. I thought I was coping well this year with the lack of gifts, decorations, or gatherings. But on Sunday, I spoke with one of my best friends in Miami. She told me about Turning the Tide, a local Pagan festival hosted by the community I belonged to. It recently took place for the 11th year. As she told me about it, I started to cry. I suddenly felt homesick. I missed everyone so much.
When I lived in Miami, I had a lot of traditions. My family observed all the major holidays. In the weeks leading up to Halloween, we’d go shopping for costumes, decorations, and candy. There were school dances, private parties, and, of course, trick-or-treating on the big night. The activities changed as I got older. Dance clubs, scary movies, and theme park horror nights replaced school dances and adolescent parties. I still went trick-or-treating, but now I watched from the sidewalk as my nieces and nephew knocked on our neighbour’s doors.
Although I have a few memories of Halloween as a child, I don’t remember Thanksgiving gatherings and have only glimpses of Christmas. I suppose these were quiet times until I was about seven or eight. My sister met the man that became her husband, and our two families merged. This is when my memories of the holidays begin.
Our families gathered at my sister’s home for a not-so-traditional Thanksgiving dinner of roast turkey, white rice, and black beans. At Christmas, my mom’s decorating rivalled Santa’s Enchanted Forest, a local holiday theme park we visited every few years. On Christmas Eve, my family gathered again for Noche Buena for a roast pork feast. Those were days before divorces and deaths, before children grew up and left, and the family was large, young, and carefree. The celebrations went late into the night with music and dancing.
I woke up early on Christmas morning and woke up everyone else on seeing the presents under the tree. Once in bed, I cracked open my bedroom door every few minutes trying to catch Santa Claus delivering the presents until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. We spent Christmas day visiting family and exchanging gifts. In the early afternoon, we went to my godparents’ house, who opened their house for lunch every year – takeaway Chinese. And in the evening, we went to the home of my sister’s in-laws for leftovers of lechón and flan or pudÃn or pan.
We watched the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown on Thanksgiving, A Charlie Brown Christmas and the Disney Christmas Day parades. New Year’s was a quieter affair spent with family, 12 grapes, bubbly, and Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve. Pagan community events added to the joy of the season. There were Samhain rituals, festivals, Witches Balls, Turning the Tide, and winter solstice celebrations in addition to traditional family gatherings. More people, more festivities, more merriment.
These days, people are older. People have died. The music is not so loud. The nights are not so late. But they still gather.
I made enormous trades when I came to Australia. I left a past for a future. I’m happy with my loving partner, who I’m going to marry soon. I feel safe. I have access to excellent health care. Professionally, I’ve done well and worry less about my financial future. Those are all important things. But I don’t have a family. I don’t have friends who would drop everything and come to my rescue. I don’t have a spiritual community. I don’t have celebrations.
I draw strength from all those before me who share similar experiences. I’m not alone in feeling homesick, especially around the holidays. This is the story of history’s young brides who had to leave their homes and villages to join their new husbands. This is the story of my parents, who left their homeland and their families. It’s a shared experience of refugees, immigrants, and expats.
It will pass. It always does.
Hi Cosette, I can majorly identify with this. The part at the end about the trades you made is so true. I feel like sometimes people looking in from the outside who idealize life abroad don’t realize how significant the trades are. Like you, I’m here with my partner and healthcare is good. Unlike you, I’ve gone backwards professionally and am not financially better off. It can be really hard sometimes to justify the trades — Christmastime is one of those times. Happy holidays from France. Sending you some virtual Christmas cheer.
Happy holidays, Diane. A toast to brighter days!