This article addresses adult subjects such as erotic magic that may not be suitable for all audiences or reading environments.
Although I honour and study Hekate year-round, I dedicated October and all my blog entries that month to her last year. But I can’t wait nine more months to write about her again. There is too much to explore and say about Hekate. A friend recently asked me about Hekate and sex, so, of course, we have to talk about that. This entry looks broadly at ancient erotic magic, Hekate’s role as a goddess of boundaries, and contemporary sex magick.
Ancient erotic magic in the literary tradition
Erotic magic was ubiquitous in classical antiquity, and literature is full of it. In the Iliad by Homer, Hera used Aphrodite’s belt to seduce Zeus to prevent him from divinely participating in the Trojan War. Socrates calls the Sirens’ song that lure their victims an incantation. In the Argonautica, Apollonius wrote that Aphrodite taught Jason a charm and incantation to inflame Medea with desire so she would help him on his quest.
The Greco-Roman philosophical and literary traditions give the impression that women were the adepts of love and erotic magic. These reflect patriarchal male fears of women disrupting the normal and rightful hierarchies that preserved order.
For example, Jason’s use of the feminine art of erotic magic to gain Medea’s affection ultimately has destructive results. Deianira, whose name means “man-destroyer” or “destroyer of her husband”, uses a love charm to win back Heracles. However, she unwittingly kills him and, as he’s dying, he is humiliated that a woman was responsible for his demise. “A woman, a female – not the nature of a man – has destroyed me, without a sword,” Sophocles wrote.
In literature, women’s erotic magic is scheming and subversive in the face of sanctioned male authority.
Ancient erotic magic and non-literary evidence
Epigraphical, archaeological and papyrological evidence, such as spells of the Greek (PGM) and Demotic magical papyri (PDM) and the defixiones, or curse tablets and binding spells, demonstrate that men performed erotic magic as much, possibly even more than women.
Christopher Faraone is the Edward Olson Professor of Classics at the University of Chicago. In his book Ancient Greek Love Magic, Faraone divides erotic magic broadly into two groups: “those rituals used mainly by men to instill erotic passion (eros) in women and those used primarily by women to increase affection (philia) in men.”
Many men’s spells tortured women until they submitted. A famous example is the small clay effigy discovered in Egypt inside a clay pot with a lead tabled inscribed with a Greek spell of the third or fourth century. The effigy depicts a naked woman kneeling, bound, and pierced with 13 pins. The spell reveals that a man named Sarapammon made or commissioned it to attract a woman named Ptolemais. He appeals to a ghost to carry out the work.
“Rouse yourself for me and go into every place, into every quarter, into every house, and bind Ptolemais, she whom Aias bore, the daughter of Horgenes, to me. Prevent her from eating and drinking until she comes to me, Sarapammon, whom Area bore, and do not allow her to have experience with another man, except me alone. Drag her by her hair, her guts, until she does not stand aloof from me… and until I hold her obedient for the whole time of my life, loving me, desiring me, and telling me what she is thinking.”
In contrast, women’s philia magic was primarily used to regain or strengthen the affection of an unfaithful husband or lessen his anger.
Scholars have struggled to understand the violence depicted in many men’s love spells. Faraone says that Greeks perceived the experience of erotic desire like a pathological disease that attacks with torches and whips and makes you ill. The goal is to make the woman feel the aches, pains, and burning of sexual desire, and the binding will lead to her complete submission.
Men’s and women’s different approaches to erotic magic reflect their concerns, their understanding of the nature of the sexes, and their legal and culturally defined status. Power plays an important role. Philia-magic was not employed only by women but also by homosexuals and powerless men. Likewise, courtesans, widows, and other women in positions of power sometimes used eros-magic.
The role of Hekate in ancient erotic magic
All the gods are capable of magic and can grant requests. Still, erotic magic is associated with three different groups of gods: Aphrodite and her entourage, Selene and Helios, and gods related to the Underworld such as Hekate, Hermes, and Persephone, as well as daemons and restless spirits.
The goddess of love and sex, Aphrodite, is an obvious choice to call on in erotic magic. According to Faraone, the tradition of asking Selene and Helios for help is poorly documented. Still, he cites various references, including Pindar, who says that, among lovers, men pray for Helios to appear and women pray for Selene to appear. It may reflect common associations of women with the moon, passivity, and emotions, and men with the sun, activity, energy, and logic. It’s also worth noting that Selene and Hekate are later assimilated and conjoined in erotic spells.
Despite being widespread and popular, erotic magic existed on the fringes. It was a transgression of boundaries and took place at crossroads and graveyards where spirits were believed to gather and could be roused on behalf of the living. So, it’s not surprising that Aphrodite, Selene, and Helios eventually yielded to the chthonic and liminal gods. These, Hekate in particular, become the gods most commonly called upon. Established as a liminal goddess of witchcraft and the crossroads, Hekate was also significant to women’s transitions at marriage and childbirth, common concerns of their magic.
Hekate's sacred animal, the polecat
Before we move on to contemporary practices, I want to touch on the polecat, one of Hekate’s sacred animals. It has little to do directly with erotic magic but speaks to Hekate’s connections to childbirth, magic, and sex.
Galanthis was a friend of Alcmene who assisted her during the birth of Heracles. As a favour to Hera, the Moirae (Fates) and Eileithyia (goddess of childbirth) kept Alcmene in continuous birth pangs. Galanthis told them that Alcmene had given birth. The goddesses released their hold on Alcmene, and she gave birth to Heracles. Enraged by the deception, the Moirae punished Galanthis by transforming her into a polecat. Hekate felt sorry for Galanthis and appointed her as one of her sacred servants.
The Roman author Aelian adds colourful details to his gossipy version of the story and makes Hekate responsible for the transformation:
“I have heard that the land-marten (or polecat) was once a human being. It has also reached my hearing that Gale was her name then; that she was a dealer in spells and a sorceress (pharmakis); that she was extremely incontinent, and that she was afflicted with abnormal sexual desires. Nor has it escaped my notice that the anger of the goddess Hekate transformed it into this evil creature. May the goddess be gracious to me: fables and their telling I leave to others.”
Hekate and ritual sex magick
Hekate’s associations with erotic magic position her as a figure you can invoke in sex magick.
Sorita D’Este’s collection Hekate: Her Sacred Fires includes an essay titled “The One Who Waits at the Crossroads” by Soror Basilisk. She describes her experience with ritual sex magick to strengthen contact with Hekate on the astral.
She writes, “I looked at her, mentally telling her this act was for her; the energy, sacrament, blood, all for her. Would she show us her mysteries?”
Basilisk goes on to say that Hekate showed her full spirit possession. “In a way, I become a crossroads; the physical and the astral converging to allow something truly magickal to happen.”
In his essay “Baptism of Fire”, which also appears in Hekate: Her Sacred Fires, Mark Alan Smith also mentions offering his blood and sexual fluids to Hekate, along with Lucifer, in a rite of possession. In his work, known as Primal Craft, which I’ll explore in more detail in a future entry, Smith argues that sexual trance possession by Hekate can lead to initiations into her mysteries, the enhancing of consciousness, magickal transformation, and spiritual progress.
Hekate and sacred kink
We associate many figures with love and lust, including Aphrodite and Venus, Astarte, Inanna and Ishtar, Freyja, Erzulie and Oshun, Lilith and Babalon. We don’t tend to include Hekate among the goddesses of sex and sensuality, but her ancient associations with boundaries, transgressions, death and erotic magic earn her a place among them.
Sex is a far darker power than feminism has admitted. Behaviorist sex therapies believe guiltless, no-fault sex is possible. But sex has always been girt round with taboo, irrespective of culture. Sex is the point of contact between man and nature, where morality and good intentions fall to primitive urges. I call it an intersection. This intersection is the uncanny crossroads of Hecate, where all things return in the night. Eroticism is a realm stalked by ghosts. It is the place beyond the pale, both cursed and enchanted.
Writing for The Freque, the online magazine of the crystal sex toy store, Chakrubs (how good is that name?), Gabriela Herstik, an author and priestess of Venus, recommends the Viper (NSFW) for sex magick involving Hekate.
“As a dark goddess, Hekate also rules over sexuality, sensuality and connection to pleasure. This curved obsidian Chakrub is perfect for Hekate’s domain to help you explore your own darkness, depths and sexuality. Not only is this stone incredibly protective and cleansing, it also perfect for working with sex magick and tantra as a way to deepen your magical exploration of taboos, kink and the self. Use this Chakrub while meditating on your own divine depths to channel Hekate. Or use this and as you orgasm, release anything that’s no longer serving you to the goddess of the crossroads.”
Learned Pagans are familiar with the intersections of sex and magick, at least in theory. In Sacred Kink, you find connections between religion/spirituality and BDSM in creating stories, worlds, meanings, and the ritual exploration of boundaries, including the transgression of social norms.
While I wouldn’t go so far as to say that she rules over sexuality, sensuality, and pleasure, I agree with Herstik in that Hekate can be a powerful force to work with in shadow and boundary explorations of the body and sex.
Hekate as a goddess of sex
Hekate is a virgin goddess. That is, she never married and had no regular consort. In some traditions, she has children, but she may have had them using parthenogenesis (without sexual intercourse). Even if Hekate abstained from sex (or was asexual), she is not offended by sex.
Ancient Greek philosophers had many words for love, including agápe (brotherly love), éros (sexual love), philia (affection), and philautia (self-love). Though we refer broadly to “goddesses of love”, we understand that their characteristics and approaches to love and sex differ tremendously and that they offer different lessons and gifts. So it can be with Hekate. She may not arrive flowing like the ocean or dancing with peacocks, but Hekate waits at the crossroads, ready to help you explore your sexual boundaries.
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